On my latest trip to AC I decided due to the ever rising rip off prices in some bars it was time to fight back. So I set myself a target to sneak a girl out of one of Mo's bars every night without paying a BF whoops I mean buying her LD's. Well 12 nights out of 14 weren't too bad and I was too pissed on those nights anyway. How you might ask was it possible? Easy peasy, first wait until after midnight and check out what girls are remaining unfortunately you won't get a stunner as some poor sap will have paid P1000 to take her out plus a tip of P500/1000 and that's only for a ST whilst ol' Barry boy looks for a 6-7 looker and gets the real deal for a P500 note. When you've got in contact with your target you tell her you would love to take her home and take care but unfortunately you cannot afford P1000 but if she would meet you later you would love to give her P500. Now she thinks it's getting late no chance of someone paying my BF but this kind guy will give me P500 and I will get weighed in straight-away instead of waiting for the bar to pay me in a day or so. Every time I arranged a meet in Maragaritaville the girl turned up and we had a great time. Once for a laugh we went and ate in Mo's just to rub it in and the waitress knew what had happened but she never cared because like all of them they only care for themselves and 'the sisters'. I would never pay a BF now it's simply a waste of money, now I buy a P500 Mo special card and use the other P500 to pay the girl. So you could say I drink for free!

     Angeles is getting cheaper for me and it can be for you if you want to follow my advice. Remember this advice is for Aussies and Europeans only as the arrogant Yanks are boasting and ass kissing with Mo as usual about Angeles is cheaper. When you get your bag at the airport have a look round and see if you can spot any likely Angeles tourists. Once you have your target approach him and suggest sharing his taxi to Angeles for a 50/50 share, when you arrive at Angeles say you will weigh him in later but of course never turn up. I always like to find a Yank to share a lift as they believe any old bullshit you give them, if your liftee suggests a barhop of course you agree and when you meet give him a 'tale of woe' about the ATM not working and BINGO! the first night's drinking is free courtesy of Uncle Sam. 

     I explained earlier about how to sneak out your honeyko without paying the BF and I must reiterate you only sneak girls out of Mo's bars as he is responsible for the rising prices. Of course if you sneak a girl out of a Mo bar then it is only right to have a late night snack in Kokomo's or a breakfast there the next day. For the right effect I always like to say hello to Mo if he is in and of course the poor sap has no idea I've done a sneak out. In fact anyone who say's not paying the BF is stealing is talking crap all it means is that Mo hasn't got his cut, of course that makes him a pimp but who cares you have your honeyko for half or less if you can negotiate correctly. Never feel guilty about not paying your girl or ripping her off because more than likely she has more than one idiot (probably a Yank) sending her money and as they say what goes around comes around. Now then we have established how to get to Angeles for free, have your first night's drinking for free and get your honeyko for next to nothing it's time to move on. 

     Always keep an eye out for large groups barhopping because there are two ways to benefit here, first of course is the good ol' bell ring and second when a big group order it's easy to tell the waitress you are with them and slip your bill into their cup. Of course for maximum effect I like to include a few LD's into some suckers cup as well. If things are looking quiet you can always use the standby of the P500 Mo drink card it's specially useful because remember you are cruising around Mo's bars looking for sneak outs anyway. So now endeth the second lesson and remember Angeles is cheaper than it used to be, well it is if you follow my advice.

     Now then it's onto our latest class, remember we have travelled to Angeles free, our first couple of nights' drinking free and hopefully got our bedroom fun for free. So it's time to move on, a couple of years ago I decided to stay for 2 months which led to the problem of financing it. Easy, peasy for Barry hook up with your honeyko (snuck out of course) and then let her still work the bars going ST only when she finishes she comes back to you and gives you your beer money and food money for the next day which means a 2 month stay becomes a 6 month stay. Of course if you need to promise visas, marriage whatever just make sure you've left town before she finds out you're bullshitting. Now another good tip for eking out your spending money is whilst you're having a free drink at the Swagman check out when the 'fly the bus' is about to leave then stroll about looking for some gullible tourist preferably a Yank then give him a sob story about how you've had your wallet nicked and you need the bus fare to get to Manila or you are now P500 short of your hotel bill. Voila! P500 more spending money that day. This is good a couple of times each day also can also be done outside the moneychangers if necessary. OK that endeth the 3rd lesson, tune in soon for more tips and you too can discover that it is true Angeles is getting cheaper.